My dad just yelled “I SWEAR I’LL CUT OFF WHAT’S LEFT OF YOUR DICK IF YOU FUCKING TOUCH MY COKE DON’T YOU DARE” and I came in the room like what the fuck and it was my dad holding up a shoe and my cat sitting by a glass of coca-cola with his paw almost touching inside of it and both of them didn’t even break eye contact with each other
(Source: amovible, via gen-erally-speaking)
@5 days ago with 289499 notes
#cats #humor #text posts
How come Beyoncé wears crystal-studded leotards, 6” heels and fishnets, but she dresses Blue Ivy, her baby, in regular baby clothes? It really makes you think.
How come Beyoncé chooses to drink alcohol but doesn’t have Blue Ivy drink it? Why is Blue Ivy always being carried around? Why is she so short?
@5 days ago with 56480 notes
nicki performing anaconda. taylor swift having all females playing the instruments during her performance. fifth harmony being the first girl group in YEARS to win a VMA. beyonce basically PREACHING feminism to the crowd. thank you God
plus lorde, a 17 year old girl, winning in a category made entirely of adult men
@6 days ago with 78261 notes
Shaving your legs. More like yoga in the shower with razor blades.
@1 week ago with 167784 notes